Tag Archive: humor


Time for another update from the store and all that happened this weekend!

Saturday afternoon a group of teenagers came in from mostly likely a game of some sort since most of them had their faces painted in uniform styles and colors. One young man even brought in his ukulele and proceeded to pluck it softly whilst he was in the store. Upon his leaving he turned in the doorway and said, “Goodbye Braum’s!” To which I replied, “Goodbye, Braum’s customer!”

Le frequent customer comes towards my register while holding a single tub of ice cream in a way that can only be described as dramatic. I extend my arm in equally dramatic pose and proceed to ring it up for him.

Le me at counter all day long and I noticed a trend. Me: Total is $10. Customer: Hands me a $20. Me:Total is $13.78. C:Another $20. Me: $6.79, have a $20. $5, take my $20. $0.05, break my $20….WHAT IS UP WITH ALL YOUR STINKING $20s PEOPLE!!!

The next thing that happened inspired me to use something other than words to describe the scene. So behold, my excellently illustrated artwork!!!

So that’s it for this week, tune in next week for more randomness, different time, different place.

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Everybody Loves Charlie

Or not (I’m looking at you Joel). Some of you might have noticed in the picture of my desk a frog hanging out on the right side of my desk. You may be wondering why there was a baby toy guarding my monitor (an old beast of a thing to be sure). Well that’s a long and complicated, but funny, story…

Meet Charlie

Back in 2007 somebody had the bright idea to make a Hillary Clinton plush doll.

That is one doll I wouldn't let anywhere near my children.

Unfortunately, I was donated one for a yard sale I was having as a fundraiser back then. To nobody’s surprise it didn’t sell, so I was doomed to have a Hillary Clinton plush haunting my garage for months. Then I thought I’d spread the horror around, why should I be the only one to suffer looking at such an atrocity? I knew one such friend at work that would both cringe and get a good chuckle out the doll so I took it into work and stuck it in my co-worker’s mailbox. The next day I noticed it missing from the mailbox and asked the co-worker how he had liked it. To my surprise he had no idea what I was talking about. Someone had taken my ugly doll! Why in the world would someone want a doll as ugly as this one? In my office we have several items that are passed around as either jokes or picker-uppers during a hard day. Someone mistakenly thought my doll was such an item and promptly passed it on to someone they thought would enjoy a good laugh. I didn’t have a problem with that, in fact I thought it was a pretty good idea to donate the ugly thing to the system, but I did want my friend to be able to see it. So, I began my quest to hunt down my ugly doll. Apparently in the day it’d been missing it had been passed around quite a lot, seems nobody wanted to have the thing up at their desk for an extended period of time. My quest led me up to Web Marketing and I asked if anyone had seen my ugly doll recently. They hadn’t but one of them had an ugly doll I could use as a replacement. Rolling his chair over to an abandoned desk, he opened up a dusty drawer and withdrew a green, fluffy, and way cute plush frog. It was love at first sight.

Who could say a face like that was ugly?

After fighting my way through misty jungles and rabid IT personnel I did eventually find the original ugly doll and return it to my intended victim. After being able to witness his distinct aversion to the doll I passed it along to the next poor sap and haven’t seen it since. It’s probably still out there somewhere, but I believe it has left the office to bring terror and disgust to other unsuspecting innocents. So having lost an ugly doll (yay!) I gained a new desk buddy: Charlie the Frog. Not only does he look cute, he actually is functional and helps with work productivity.

Charlie showing off his flexibility

Once bent and folded into the above position he makes an excellent desk pillow.

ZZZZzzzzz.....

Combined with a blanket and noise cancelling headphones this is the ideal setting for a ten minute recharge in the afternoon (trust me, a Drop of Beauty from the Heart needs her afternoon siesta).

Yes, that is Pinky Pie on my background…*brohoof*

One Too Many Winks

Those of you who work in a job where you’re constantly dealing with people know there are a few cardinal rules you have to follow: keep good eye contact, smile, be pleasant and courteous no matter what kind of day you might be having, etc… I broke one of those rules the other day because I came across one of the cardinal exceptions: the flirt.

There are those people who will wink at you naturally in reply or in good humor, nothing wrong with that. This guy was different. I was smiling and was in a pretty good mood that day when he came up to my counter. He winked, I scanned, made eye contact, another wink. Something was up. He had a pretty big load of groceries so it was taking a while to get it all scanned and bagged (I bag them myself in paper bags. Paper bags are harder to fill in my personal opinion than plastic ones). Every time we made eye contact this man winked at me and he had to be at least ten years older than me. That was it: no more nice grocery lady. My smile wilted, my eyes became less sparkly (yes, I can turn that off and on on cue, oh yeah…ok maybe not), and I did my level best not to make eye contact with the man. I finished his order and handed him his bags faster than you could say “cold shower.” Only problem was it took a while for the peppy to come back, sadness. But that’s a sacrifice I was willing to make.

On a scale from one to Spongebob…

You are a three. Teenage girls; loud, laugh-at-everything, teenage girls said this at my store the other night. I didn’t know there was a number Spongebob. And would the better end be Spongebob or one? Probably one.

Life has been busy in and out of the store. Oh! A costumer brought in his three week old baby boy the other night, he was so cute!!! He was so tiny and had a head full of blond baby hair, so sweet! I love little infants like that!

In store news we’ve got two new crew members helping us at night. The bad news is we’re losing one of our two cooks =[ And we’re also looking for people to work weekday nights since most of our workers are in school and need to get their homework done.  But other than that things are going pretty well. Our DM has started keeping a record of the stores in his area and so far we’ve always been in one of the top positions in almost all of our categories!

And now for a P.S.A.: If you are in a store/restaurant/office/building of any sort and you find yourself faced with a roadblock/caution-tape/a yellow wet floor cone, high chair, and a trash can blocking your way; for Heaven’s sake, and the sake of the emotional and mental well being of the employees in the area, do NOT push, pull, step over, or finagle your way around the blocked off area just so you can take a seat. The benches/tables/chairs in the NON-BLOCKED OFF area are just as good and, I promise, you will fit, they will hold your weight, and the table will not miraculously drop your food onto the floor. The employees will be thanking you in their heads and hearts and are far less likely to spit in your drink than if you do step over the barricade…(no, I’ve never spat in anyone’s drinks or food, I don’t even work the food side). But I do work the side that can’ t go home to sleep until the place is spotless. If I’ve blocked off your favorite chair/table it’s because I’ve already cleaned it for the night and I don’t have the time to go back and clean it again just because you want that particular window. There are some exceptions to this rule and if you see me working and ask or explain the situation I will most likely let you sit where you want. But just because the costumer is always right doesn’ t mean you have the right to do whatever you like because you want to. Please respect the hard work we put into giving you a clean, healthy, and fun atmosphere where you can enjoy good food and ice cream with friends and family. Realize that while we are there to serve you, indeed paid to do so, we are people too with souls and feelings. Be considerate.

Oh dear, that’s been pent up for a while…

One other thing before I sign off for the night. At my store we have two kinds of ice scoops. Tiny ones for the soda machines and gigantic ones for the ice maker in the back. On occasion when I’m taking the ice out to the machines and I see the two scoops side by side I think, “That ain’t an ice scoop. This is an ice scoop!”

Well, off to bed, Happy and Blessed New Year everybody!

Slaying the Ice Dragon!!!

Last night at work I was scooping ice out of our giant ice maker (its HUGE) and breaking up the ice chunks when a thought suddenly popped into my head, “I’m slaying the ice dragon.” Huh, the ice dragon, I like it. For some odd reason those chunks of ice bug me. They block up the machine and keep the new ice from falling so whenever I’m back there I like to break them apart so the fresher ones can fall. But then I thought, “I can’t really call it the ice dragon. That’s more of an entity than a name. ‘Hi! This is my friend Ice Dragon.’ That doesn’t really work. Hmmm.” So I was thinking Trumpkin the Ice Dragon but that’s the one dwarf from Chronicles of Narnia. Anyone out there have any suggestions?

Life as a grocery clerk

One of the things I find humorous is the silly things costumers say, case in point.

Clerk: Thank you, come again.

Customer: Thanks, you too.

Clerk: *Silence but inside head* I have to, I work here.

Woman with small child checking out groceries and child is pulling her shirt down.

Clerk discreetly warns woman.

Woman: Oh thank you but it’s alright. I’m sure they’ve (everybody in the store) has already seen it many times on the internet.

Clerk: *silence* Awkward smile.

Then there’s the things people wear into the store, I’ve seen the gambit of things from curlers, see-through shirts, and kilts. Yes kilts. And it was a teenager of all things.

But then you have your really nice people, like the mom who helps you by having her kids throw away the mountain of garbage they left on the table and stuff they spilled on the floor. I gave that woman a hug =D

It’s hard to remember that no matter what they do, who they are, how long they stay, or what they buy every customer is a person with a soul and an eternal destiny in which they’ll only spend one of two places. It’s hard to remember to pray for all that come in since there are so many of them that constantly move in and out. It’s difficult to be a good example and witness to my coworkers and not join in their jokes and conversations. Life is hard. But God helps and He’s with me, so that makes it much better =]

Adventures in Bacon

well, kind of but you’ll see…

About a month ago one of my neighbors had a yard sale. I looked around and saw she had a giant fluffy pink pig for sale. One of my close friends is somewhat…eclectic and I knew the pig would be enjoyed by her but also I wasn’t about spend my money on a pig. My little brother mows her lawn so yesterday when she came by to pay him she gave me the pig. He had a small hole in his backside so I sewed him up (complete with gingham cloth patch) and prepared him to meet his new owner.

Meet Herbie

So the next day at work I stuck him in her car, lucky for me the weather was so nice she’d left her front window down. Which is a good thing ’cause Herbie is kinda hefty.

I snagged my boss’s camera and shot a few pictures and when my friend found him she about died of laughter. I later found out that he was passed around the office and found under the desks of many different friends. Turns out he’s so big he makes a nice office chair.

Day…aw forget it.

Who wants to count how many days they’ve been blogging anyways? So, the work day has ended and I feel like my brain is off…because it’s rather quiet up there (stop laughing, you know who you are).

So I have some good knews, I’m gonna be a mom! NO, I am not pregnant and I ain’t adopting either and I don’t plan to be doing either one for a long while yet. I’m going to be watching two different sets of children durring the same two weeks in about a month. One set will be for just a few hours in the afternoon and the other set will be an over night stay durring the weekdays. So I figure this will be a small taste of what life was like for my mother when we were growing up. Two households, two schedules, five kids (all under the age of 12), and one woman. Let’s rock.

H-mart, let me just say I love H-mart. I can’t read or understand over 3/4 of what they are selling or why in the world they would be selling it when we live in America with good old American food such as high fructose corn syryp, partially hydroginated vegitable oils, and MSG but hey, maybe they know something we don’t about nutrition. It’s like visiting another country without the hassle of a passport and luggage or exchanging curency. I went yesterday becuase I have Mondays off and I never, ever, do anything except stay at home. So I decided I was going out. I was actually on the hunt for shark meat (surprisingly enough they actually didn’t have any) but I had a great time instead looking at all the fish and other cool goodies they sell there. I came home with a small box of Pocky, a neat black and red soup bowl with white sakura petals on it, and a pomegranete (love those).

Well, time for dinner now. Tim, you don’t have to give me that look anymore, ha!

Those who know me well have heard me say at some point that I would boycott English if I knew any other language. Seriously, English is really stupid, espicially American English.

I was bagging groceries for this man at work, the purchase being milk and a carton of eggs (a very common combination and the most awkward to bag to date). After doing my best to get them to fit in(we only use brown paper bags, no plastic) he said something along the lines of asking if I laid my eggs. *Insert epic brain whirring* What? Again he said something about laying the eggs. Yes, our chickens lay these eggs. This goes on for about 20 to 30 seconds before I figure out he wanted me to make sure the eggs were laid horizontally in the bag (however, since there was a gallon of milk in that bag, there was no possible way those eggs were getting any more horizontal). Yet another reason why English is stupid.