Category: Life


…What is this place?

*Blows dusts off the handle and gently pushes the door open with a long, rusty squeak* “…Hello?” No reply, no one has been here in ages.

Darkness inhabits this dusty space, broken up only by shapes almost indistinguishable and the hanging cobwebs. It looks like I’ve stumbled into an attic of a long abandoned home. A few small shafts of light break through a dusty window across the small room from me, and I cross over to it with damp rag in hand. In a few short moments I have a dingy circle of somewhat clean glass and light pours into the room behind me.

The shapes are boxes, long abandoned, folded shut, and covered in a film of dust like everything else in this place. A few steps beyond the boxes is another shape, this one resembling a piece of furniture hidden beneath a drape cloth. Hopefully it doesn’t have any mice inhabiting it.

Taking ahold of the cloth, I pull it back to reveal an old armchair, still looking as loved as it once was beneath its cover. It’s a dusty red with dark, faded bronze paisley patterns covering it in little tufts of velvet. A few prods into the seat reveal it’s still cushy enough to sit in and steady enough to take the weight.

Lifting up the top box, I take a seat, and open the folded lid. Inside are pictures, memories I’ve stored in this place from time that is actually told. A small, wistful smile comes to my face as I look over them. I’m not the same girl I once was, and my life has changed so much since then.

I take a look at the room around me; perhaps it is time I come back to this space, perhaps it is time I make it usable and homey again. Perhaps I shall come back from time to time and make the window open a little bit wider. Perhaps, or perhaps not. I shrug, time will only tell.

Betrayal of the Heart

“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though … betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”-Steven Dietz
 
This is a short project I made for a film fight (http://www.filmfights.com/).
Subject was worst way to die and the restriction was it had to be 30 seconds or less long (not including the FilmFights logo). I got in forth and my buddy made second ūüėÄ

Heart’s Desires

My baby brother turned 18 last month and I wrote him a little message that I thought would make a good blog post. So here it is:

18, a time for new beginnings, of a sort. A time to put behind you the childish ways of your youth and instead enter the world of adults. This does not mean you need to change who you are, but to choose wisely what you do with your time. Will you seek God or your own pleasures? It’s a curious thing; we think we know best, we’re always looking for the next temporary high to fill the black hole inside of you and me. Even though the one place we are promised to find fullness of joy is in God’s presence. Does that mean we have to die? Yes and no. While we don’t kill our bodies we do “die to self” in other words letting go of what fills us only temporarily and leaves us feeling hollow until we can get our hands on more of what left us empty in the first place. But it’s so very hard to let go, to say I am wrong and I don’t know better than you Jesus. It’s a curious thing. He died, lived in ¬†mortal body, suffered, bled, was tortured, and carried the weight of our sins and yet we still insist on spitting in His face and shunning His love. Love and joy for eternity if only we’d receive it. As I grow older I realize what I’ve missed and how I’ve only hurt myself and my relationship with Jesus by living my own way and practically ignoring Christ’s love. Why? Because I am selfish and think I know better than the one who made me, the one who wired me to want what I want and like what I like. And yet, after all this time, I can truly say that some of my most¬†fulfilled¬†moments have been praising God and just spending time in His presence. It might be painful or even boring first but if you keep seeking with your whole heart then you will find Him and the fullness of joy that can be only found in having a right relationship with God. Doing otherwise by going after the world’s¬†temporary¬†pleasures is no better than shooting yourself in the foot.

So, took a personality test, I’m an orange *runs around wildly with her arms stretched out behind her* so that means I’m¬†impulsive¬†*tabs over to webcomic hosting site then back here* creative *sews a plush toy in the shape of a dragon, rawr* and¬†spontaneous *taps dances a jig on the roof*

 

Yeah, I only actually did one of those things. But here’s a good overview: http://voices.yahoo.com/what-color-personality-orange-1898876.html?cat=72¬†*turns on the Ping Pong song*

A Drop of Beauty

I use the name ‘A Drop of Beauty’ a lot and a few of my friends were wondering where it came from, some of them even found it could be construed as somewhat negative. I certainly didn’t mean it that way, but that’s off topic.

The name comes from a¬† poem I wrote back in…I don’t remember but I think it was in the early 2000s, maybe ’06? anyways, I’ve only written three poems in my life, this being the third, so I’ll just post it here for those who were wondering about the origin of the name.

A Drop of Beauty

There is a drop of beauty inside of every girl,

And every drop has value more than any precious pearl,

It shines brighter than diamonds and glitters more than gold,

And every girl bestowed with it, their majesty unfolds,

 

For some it could be their hair, long and smooth,

Reflecting both the rays of sun and moon,

For some it is as bright as the sun on a summer day,

For others it is as dark as night which in the forest lay,

 

Other still it is their eyes, deep and dark,

Understanding as well as smart,

Some girls have eyes of emeralds, the deepest, purest green,

Some girls have eyes like violets which blossom in the spring,

 

Still to other girls it is their hearts that matter most,

They believe in love and God as well as Holy Ghost,

For them their drop of purest beauty radiantly shines,

For God is in their hearts as He as well’s in mine.

 

So there you have it, the story behind A Drop of Beauty

Ponderings of the Heart

I’ve had this idea running through my head and heart for a while now:

Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will obey My commandments.” That seems pretty straightforward to me. But then, that also means that the opposite is true. If I am choosing to go my own way, to sin, or to just say “Lord, I think You’re telling me to do this, but I really want to do this instead” then that is disobedience, and since the opposite of love is hatred, that means I am in essence saying “I hate you” to God. If I call someone “Lord,” but have no intension to serve Him, then He’s not really my “Lord” now¬†is He? I’s it¬†just an¬†empty word or a useless title that I’m saying in vain just to sound “spiritual” in front of others.

Time for another update from the store and all that happened this weekend!

Saturday afternoon a group of teenagers came in from mostly likely a game of some sort since most of them had their faces painted in uniform styles and colors. One young man even brought in his ukulele and proceeded to pluck it softly whilst he was in the store. Upon his leaving he turned in the doorway and said, “Goodbye Braum’s!” To which I replied, “Goodbye, Braum’s customer!”

Le frequent customer comes towards my register while holding a single tub of ice cream in a way that can only be described as dramatic. I extend my arm in equally dramatic pose and proceed to ring it up for him.

Le me at counter all day long and I noticed a trend. Me: Total is $10. Customer: Hands me a $20. Me:Total is $13.78. C:Another $20. Me: $6.79, have a $20. $5, take my $20. $0.05, break my $20….WHAT IS UP WITH ALL YOUR STINKING $20s PEOPLE!!!

The next thing that happened inspired me to use something other than words to describe the scene. So behold, my excellently illustrated artwork!!!

So that’s it for this week, tune in next week for more randomness, different time, different place.

Changing of the Seasons

This morning I woke to chilly weather, enough to warrant a jacket, and headed off to work with the heater set to high in my car. Walking outside at noon¬†I found it warm enough to quickly rid myself of said jacket and wish I hadn’t tossed on those tights this morning. Spring is in the air, everywhere you look trees are quickly becoming covered with buds and little, sleepy leaves poking their heads out from their long winters rest, ready to be reborn in this warm weather. The ground is quickly changing from it’s dead brown to vibrant greens and various different shades of color from lavender to rich, creamy yellow. Which also means that it’s allergy season again and several of my poor friends are already sniffling and popping allegra.¬†Spring is in the air here in Texas and the weather is turning pleasantly cool enough to warrent long walks in the park and picnics in the sun. One of my friends was even¬†able to take her computer outside and work in the afternoon sun yesterday, lucky.

For those of you who read my blog from the beginning, remember when I mentioned I was learning Adobe Encore? Well I finally finished the program earlier this week, yay!!! It truely is a fun and useful program for creating DVDs/BLU-ray discs/flash based websites. And it’s all thanks to my boss (and¬†God)¬†who got me a Lynda.com membership for work =D Thank you!!! I think the next program I’ll learn will be After Effects, so excited!!!

Everybody Loves Charlie

Or not (I’m looking at you Joel). Some of you might have noticed in the picture of my desk a frog hanging out on the right side of my desk. You may be wondering why there was a baby toy guarding my¬†monitor (an old beast of a thing to be sure). Well that’s a long and complicated, but¬†funny, story…

Meet Charlie

Back in 2007 somebody had the bright idea to make a Hillary Clinton plush doll.

That is one doll I wouldn't let anywhere near my children.

Unfortunately, I was donated one for a yard sale I was having as a fundraiser back then. To nobody’s surprise it didn’t sell, so I was doomed to have a Hillary Clinton plush haunting my garage for months. Then I thought I’d spread the horror around, why should I be the only one to suffer looking at such an atrocity? I knew one such friend at work that would both cringe and get a good chuckle out the doll so I took it into work and stuck it in my co-worker’s mailbox. The next day I noticed it missing from the mailbox and asked the co-worker how he had liked it. To my surprise he had no idea what I was talking about. Someone had taken my ugly doll! Why in the world would someone want a doll as ugly as this one? In my office we have several items that are passed around as either jokes or picker-uppers during a hard day. Someone mistakenly thought my doll was such an item and promptly passed it on to someone they thought would enjoy a good laugh. I didn’t have a problem with that, in fact I thought it was a pretty good idea to donate the ugly thing to the system, but I did want my friend to be able to see it. So, I began my quest to hunt down my ugly doll. Apparently in the day it’d been missing it had been passed around quite a lot, seems nobody wanted to have the thing up at their desk for an extended period of time. My quest led me up to Web Marketing and I asked¬†if anyone had seen my ugly doll recently. They hadn’t but one of them had an ugly doll I could use as a replacement. Rolling his chair over¬†to an abandoned desk, he opened up a dusty drawer and withdrew a green, fluffy, and way cute plush frog. It was love at first sight.

Who could say a face like that was ugly?

After fighting my way through misty jungles and rabid IT personnel I did eventually find the original ugly doll and return it to my intended victim. After being able to witness his distinct aversion to the doll I passed it along to the next poor sap and haven’t seen it since. It’s probably still out there somewhere, but I believe it has left the office to bring terror and disgust to other unsuspecting innocents. So having lost an ugly doll (yay!) I gained a new desk buddy: Charlie the Frog. Not only does he look cute, he actually is functional¬†and helps with work productivity.

Charlie showing off his flexibility

Once bent and folded into the above position he makes an excellent desk pillow.

ZZZZzzzzz.....

Combined with a blanket and noise cancelling headphones this is the ideal setting for a ten minute recharge in the afternoon (trust me, a Drop of Beauty from the Heart needs her afternoon siesta).

Yes, that is Pinky Pie on my background…*brohoof*

Where is she???

I’m not dead, yet. Today I had a special treat. My only Aunt that lives around me feel and broke both her arms and cracked a rib last week (no, that is not the treat). So one of my other Aunts came from out-of-state to take care of her while she recovers for a week so we went down to go visit with her today. Also two of my cousins came over to visit as well, one of which brought her cute baby boy along. We had a good time playing cards and talking but it was also kind of sad in a way. My hurt Aunt and her family aren’t believers so it’s always a little saddening for me to visit with them and know we won’t talk about important things or do anything that really matters. Most sad of all is the fact that if they aren’t soon saved they could very well be going hell forever. I don’t want that, neither do I want them cursing my name for eternity because I was a bad witness to them or not one at all.

In store news a began training a new employee who will be doing my job during the weekdays. She’s a little black lady with a big smile and a good attitude who knows how to work hard and keep busy. I hope she stays here, we definitely need the help.